Hillary woke up with a fever this morning, so we had no need to engage in our usual mad rush to get her out of bed, dressed, fed, and off to school. As Hillary woke up slowly, she sleepily asked, "Mommy, when I'm a grown up can I still stay here?" I answered of course she could, and asked her why she wanted to stay here when she's all grown up. She said, "because I love you." My heart melted, but it made me think about how different her wishes will be in only a short time. In just a few years, Hillary will continue to feel a strong pull to stay where she feels safe and loved, and an equally powerful pull toward independence and new experiences.
All I wanted to do at that moment was hold her close and savor her dependence on me, but I know that it's my job to foster her growing independence.
Developmental transitions can be difficult for children and parents. Children have to face growing demands and expectations as they get older, and parents have to adjust to a child who needs them in different ways. We seem to have successfully managed Hillary's transition to kindergarten, but it was not without its challenges. We negotiated questions such as how much do we allow Hillary to cope with a stressful class environment, and how much do we intervene by speaking to the teacher?
Families can get themselves into trouble by not adapting as their children and conditions change. But adapting is not easy and comes with many questions and doubts.
How has your family adapted to your growing children?
